Is it me or has autism been hitting the news quite a bit lately? We are either growing in our awareness of autism, there are more children/adults being diagnosed or perhaps it is a side-effect of life in the Western world.
You do have to wonder.
Modern life puts extreme pressure on us all from a very early age. Our education system is set up to have us "ready" for life as young adults when we finally get to leave. But in that time, from the preschool years all the way through to college, we are not-so-gently encouraged to be a certain way across the board so we'll "fit in".
Put your hands up if school was a positive experience for you. I bet there were some teachers/kids/classes you weren't so keen on. Personally I have a real mix of memories around my school years. College/high-school was pretty much a big thumbs down for me. But I have some fond memories of my primary school years. There were certainly some elements of conformity I struggled with all the way through.
Let's face it, no-one really likes being told what to do and how to be. Perhaps those on the autism spectrum feel it more strongly than the rest of us. I can think of several occasions when I've wanted to break free - from corporate culture, and societal expectations impinged on me.
I'm somewhere between being an introvert and an extrovert which means I sway between seeking company and craving solitude. Too much of either extreme sends me off-balance. I can totally identify with my daughter around being frustrated with sharing space with others I'd rather not be around.
I may not be autistic but I have my own communication issues to grapple with. Lets face it, relationships can be hard work, no matter how you are wired. I tend to walk on egg shells around people so I admire my daughter's directness (although telling your friend you want to hit them isn't the kind of thing one should say out loud).
Think of all those times someone has ruffled your feathers the wrong way or just irked you, just because. It makes sense to me why my daughter hits/kicks/pushes those she's had enough of.
I'm not saying I condone her behaviours - I just get them.
Children on The Spectrum simply reach boiling point faster than typical children. Just this afternoon my daughters playdate turned to custard rather rapidly as she was already feeling overloaded. The TV had been on for a while so I thought it would do us good to go out and get some fresh air.
Originally we were going to go to the local petting zoo but the girls were clashing so badly, we decided it was best we saved our money and opted for a simple bike-ride up the road. As typical of ASD children, my daughter tends to invade other children's space a lot. Some children let this slide but not this particular friend who inevitably responds by exploding into a tantrum. Their dynamic is Amy will tease by putting a hand or foot in her friends space and her friend will scream blue murder. Amy will inch her hand or foot closer and closer until her friend loses it. Amy deals with this outburst of emotion from her peer by either pushing/hitting/kicking. Once this point has been reached Amy will continue to strike out and all attempts at separating the girls are normally in vain. Many a playdate has ended abruptly with one of us having to go home.
So we know what these two are like together. But today my friend and I perserved through gritted teeth and got the girls to the local playground. A change of scene didn't help and things steadily got worse. Eventually Amy was at the stage where she was laughing manically (an indication she is on the verge of a meltdown). So home we went and the TV was switched on again shortly afterwards. Sometimes it's just easier to stay in!
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