Tony Attwood

The Friday before last I got an opportunity to go to a presentation by Tony Attwood. He is a clinical psychologist residing in Australia, who is very well-known in the autism field. He was very personable, interesting and certainly knows his stuff. The presentation was two hours long and was on Exploring Feelings: Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to manage anxiety, sadness and anger.

To be honest, it's taken me a good week to digest the two hours Tony Attwood presented. I have some ideas on how we might be able to build on Amy's emotional expression thanks to the presentation. I am also very grateful (once again) that she has intervention at such an early age. Tony Attwood empathised the importance of teaching the social and emotional stuff from Kindergarten age.

However, as per the last course I attended with an expert in the autism field (Celeste Littek),I came out with a high level of concern for Amy's future. The reality is, the difficulties she experiences in understanding social behaviour and processing emotions will impact her life greatly. Tony Attwoods course really was a heads-up that these kids on the spectrum who become teenagers and then adults with ASD or Aspergers are very likely to suffer from mood difficulties if they are not given the skills to cope with their social and emotional deficits.

Of course any child is at risk of turning to drugs or alcohol or developing an eating disorder as a way of coping with difficult emotions. All children need life skills - to be armed with coping mechanisms from an early age. I will certainly work on some of Tony Attwoods ideas such as creating a tool-box; ideas specific to Amy that help in the times she needs help decompressing.

Interestingly enough, today was one of those days in which Amy needed some guidance in letting go of the emotions that seem to overwhelm her. We're week two into the school holidays and it seems to be the way; sooner or later the lack of continual structure in the holidays gets to her. I have visual tools to help create structure in her day. In hindsight, not using those tools this morning didn't help things. Nor did telling my daughter we were going to visit a Kindy friend (that I was sure was home) then finding out that his family was probably still away on holiday. I know it is never wise to tell my ASD daughter of plans that could fall apart. Yet every now and then they do. And that's life. Sometimes it just doesn't go the way we hoped - I cannot wrap her up in cotton wool forever.

Mind you, when I made my second ASD boo-boo today and took my daughter, my neighbour and her newborn out to a teenage Mums group only to find it was closed in the holidays; I just about banged my head against a wall! Why didn't I phone?? Things do close-down in the school hols. For the second time today my daughter had anticipated going somewhere and it fell through - not good for an ASD child who is halfway through the school hols!

We ended up having afternoon tea with the neighbours - the same ones with the newborn and then all went for a walk to a nearby playground. Although Amy was able to let off some steam there she clearly was out of sorts. This was especially apparent by the time her dad came home from work. By the time she'd had her shower she was physically starting to attack us - a red flag that meltdown was on the way. I put her in her room on a time-out where she tried very hard to hold back the tears. It is extremely heart-breaking to hold the door shut on your four and a half year old as she fights back tears. She will actually say "Nope, nope, nope!" as the tears threaten to escape. She just does not like getting sad.

She had a similar meltdown on Saturday night - Amy refused to give in to her overwhelming emotions and had a semi-cry. Then around midnight she screamed and had a big cry in my arms. This is not a first and I am half-expecting the same will happen tonight.

Tony Attwoods talk was essentially about how ASD children have extreme difficulty managing anxiety, sadness and anxiety. Our daughter is the living evidence of that! Where one of her peers seems to cry at the drop of the hat; Amy will sometimes not cry for three weeks or more. She seems to cry less the older she gets which to be honest is a big concern as her mother. There are tools out there to encourage conversation about feelings - books written by Tony Attwood himself, visual aids of faces with various emotions and children's stories about emotions. After tonights ordeal I am very keen to order some of these books and tools to help Amy in all this.