Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Some great web sites
I came across The Ministry Of Education site tonight which has some great information about ASD within the Special Education Sector. Also check out The Sexy Backs For Autism Awareness blog by James Price - a great concept for an excellent cause!
Letting my girl go
It was Amy's second day at Morning Kindy today. Yesterday I stayed with her for the whole session because it was her first day. Our special education contact and Amy's new teachers aide were there so she had quite the support crew. But today I left her too it - went off to the gym and met up with a friend there for a sauna and a cup of tea.
It was raining today and there were forty kids inside all in very close proximity at Amy's Kindy so I couldn't help myself - I made a 10.15am call from the gym. I was assured that she was fine and was bonding well with her ESW (education support worker), aka as a teachers aide. I didn't think it was out of line me calling given all the scenarios over the last two years where things have gone so very pear-shaped when Amy has been amongst of groups of children. But after the phone-call I relaxed considerably and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
The last four years have been so very intense as a Mum of a daughter with ASD. We have a respite carer and friends/neighbours we can leave Amy with for short bursts but it is typically for no more than two hours at a time - and typically just every now and then.
In the end at afternoon Kindy I was only leaving Amy for an hour and a half (out of a possible two hours) and that was just three times a week. So ten hours a week with a teachers aide - that is truly a miracle! However Amy won't be staying at Morning Kindy for the full twenty hours as three hours a session seems to be enough at this point for her. But still - fifteen hours a week (the first hour with the Kindy teachers and then the next two hours with her teachers aide) feels huge for us. I think it is going to be good for all of us to have a teachers aide on board.
It feels good to have reached this point with Amy. To have gone through all the heartache and frustration that we have over the last year in particular as we got her diagnosed and then brought her into mainstream education with the support of several specialists.
It has been worth it. Day two at Kindy and I can see Amy is out of her comfort zone yet she is gorwing. Little steps. She isn't going to the toilet at Kindy yet (though will sit on it) - a sign that she is pretty anxious. But today she made progress and sat down with some of the other children and ate some Morning tea.
I think she's doing well. She is absolutely exhausted though. Even I am finding Morning Kindy quite full-on with all those four year olds rocking around!
It was raining today and there were forty kids inside all in very close proximity at Amy's Kindy so I couldn't help myself - I made a 10.15am call from the gym. I was assured that she was fine and was bonding well with her ESW (education support worker), aka as a teachers aide. I didn't think it was out of line me calling given all the scenarios over the last two years where things have gone so very pear-shaped when Amy has been amongst of groups of children. But after the phone-call I relaxed considerably and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.
The last four years have been so very intense as a Mum of a daughter with ASD. We have a respite carer and friends/neighbours we can leave Amy with for short bursts but it is typically for no more than two hours at a time - and typically just every now and then.
In the end at afternoon Kindy I was only leaving Amy for an hour and a half (out of a possible two hours) and that was just three times a week. So ten hours a week with a teachers aide - that is truly a miracle! However Amy won't be staying at Morning Kindy for the full twenty hours as three hours a session seems to be enough at this point for her. But still - fifteen hours a week (the first hour with the Kindy teachers and then the next two hours with her teachers aide) feels huge for us. I think it is going to be good for all of us to have a teachers aide on board.
It feels good to have reached this point with Amy. To have gone through all the heartache and frustration that we have over the last year in particular as we got her diagnosed and then brought her into mainstream education with the support of several specialists.
It has been worth it. Day two at Kindy and I can see Amy is out of her comfort zone yet she is gorwing. Little steps. She isn't going to the toilet at Kindy yet (though will sit on it) - a sign that she is pretty anxious. But today she made progress and sat down with some of the other children and ate some Morning tea.
I think she's doing well. She is absolutely exhausted though. Even I am finding Morning Kindy quite full-on with all those four year olds rocking around!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Info sheets
I have spent a good part of last night and this morning writing up Info Sheets for the children at Amy's Kindy, her other friends and for her care-givers. I based the info sheets from an example Celeste Littek gave us on one of her Understanding ASD courses I did recently. The info sheet for caregivers was written solely by me yet the early intervention teacher we have regular contact with showed me examples other parents had written about their children with ASD which inspired me to do the same.
I think it's important there is as much information as possible on hand for those in contact with Amy as this just helps with understanding her ASD. We met Amy's teachers aide for morning Kindy yesterday which was great - the two of them got on like a house on fire.
Amy starts Morning Kindy
(a story for the children at Morning Kindy)
Amy has just started morning sessions at Kindy. She wants to be friendly, but she is still learning what friends do and how to join in. Sometimes Amy gets anxious and needs some quiet time in her special spot.
You can help Amy if you:
* let her join in
* use her name "Amy" before you talk (so she knows you're talking to her)
* show her what to do and speak to her in a calm voice if she makes a mistake
* try not to use too many words and listen to her speak
* if she stands too close move away or say "You're standing too close, please move away"
* if she pushes you she needs space and wants you to move away. Please tell a Kindy teacher if she pushes you.
My Friend Amy
(for children on playdates/children meeting Amy for the first time)
I have a friend called Amy. She wants to be friendly, but she is still learning what friends do and how to join in. You can help Amy if you:
* let her join in
* use her name "Amy" before you talk (so she knows you're talking to her)
* show her what to do and speak to her in a calm voice if she makes a mistake
* try not to use too many words and listen to her speak
* if she stands too close move away or say "You're standing too close, please move away"
* if she pushes you she needs space and wants you to move away
About Amy
(For caregivers and any other adults where info about ASD would be beneficial)
Amy was diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) August 2008, at the age of three and a half. Although she is high-functioning, she has difficulty socialising with other children and communicating her needs with those who care for her.
Amy is lots of fun and will seek out the company of other children if she wants it. She enjoys playing with small groups of children but gets over-stimulated very easily. It is important her energy levels are tuned into. Her day needs to be broken up into high-energy activities and quiet activities.
Perceived rejection or an inability to understand the rules of a game can trigger Amy. Often the adult looking after her mediates between Amy and other children. Children can be encouraged to speak calmly to Amy and to break down instructions/rules. She learns really well visually and can follow the lead of other children if they are patient with her. When other children get frustrated with her, just explain that Amy is learning how to play and needs their help.
Sometimes Amy has a very big air bubble and will react if children come into her space. She will also invade other children's space inappropriately. If she starts pushing she is communicating that she is unable to cope in a situation. If you see this going on please separate her from any children around her. The sooner she is distracted, the less likely the behaviour will snowball. A quiet corner she can go to works really well if she needs to chill out.
Amy likes to talk and can converse with children and adults if they are able to meet her at her level. Her conversational skills may not be on par with her peers so please be patient. Her words and sentences don't always make sense but it is important she feels heard and understood.
Amy needs a lot of guidance whether there are other children around or not. She needs direction with toileting, eating, and getting dressed. The strategies for these often change so I will keep you updated with where we're at. We have many social stories you are welcome to use that cover the areas Amy needs help in.
Sometimes it is clear Amy needs to burn off some energy. High-energy activities Amy loves include climbing, riding her bike, and running around with a small group of children. Often these hyper activities need to be followed by a quiet activity. Manic laughter is a big sign that she needs to slow down for a bit. Amy loves baking, painting, and drawing. These are all great things to do if she's feeling tired, anxious or overwhelmed. She also enjoys puzzles and reading books. She loves her sets of toys and has a My Little Pony collection, and dog and cat toys that she enjoys sharing with others.
If Amy has been pushing/kicking/hitting other children she is indicating she is on the verge of a meltdown. This means she is overloaded and desperately needs to go to a quiet corner to decompress. This is often a result of an accumulation of events unrelated to her current environment. Sitting with her quietly gives her the space to cry if she wants to. Often Amy will hold on to feelings and may even lash out to those who are in her care. If she starts hitting you just asking her if she is sad or angry about such-and-such can sometimes help her get in touch with her feelings. A DVD works really well in home settings as it seems to distract her from the anxious state she is in.
You can take a look at http://www.autismnz.org.nz/ for more information about ASD. I also update a weekly blog http://helpmemummy.blogspot.com/ about raising a child with ASD from a mother's perspective.
Thanks for your support and understanding.
Lynda
I think it's important there is as much information as possible on hand for those in contact with Amy as this just helps with understanding her ASD. We met Amy's teachers aide for morning Kindy yesterday which was great - the two of them got on like a house on fire.
Amy starts Morning Kindy
(a story for the children at Morning Kindy)
Amy has just started morning sessions at Kindy. She wants to be friendly, but she is still learning what friends do and how to join in. Sometimes Amy gets anxious and needs some quiet time in her special spot.
You can help Amy if you:
* let her join in
* use her name "Amy" before you talk (so she knows you're talking to her)
* show her what to do and speak to her in a calm voice if she makes a mistake
* try not to use too many words and listen to her speak
* if she stands too close move away or say "You're standing too close, please move away"
* if she pushes you she needs space and wants you to move away. Please tell a Kindy teacher if she pushes you.
My Friend Amy
(for children on playdates/children meeting Amy for the first time)
I have a friend called Amy. She wants to be friendly, but she is still learning what friends do and how to join in. You can help Amy if you:
* let her join in
* use her name "Amy" before you talk (so she knows you're talking to her)
* show her what to do and speak to her in a calm voice if she makes a mistake
* try not to use too many words and listen to her speak
* if she stands too close move away or say "You're standing too close, please move away"
* if she pushes you she needs space and wants you to move away
About Amy
(For caregivers and any other adults where info about ASD would be beneficial)
Amy was diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) August 2008, at the age of three and a half. Although she is high-functioning, she has difficulty socialising with other children and communicating her needs with those who care for her.
Amy is lots of fun and will seek out the company of other children if she wants it. She enjoys playing with small groups of children but gets over-stimulated very easily. It is important her energy levels are tuned into. Her day needs to be broken up into high-energy activities and quiet activities.
Perceived rejection or an inability to understand the rules of a game can trigger Amy. Often the adult looking after her mediates between Amy and other children. Children can be encouraged to speak calmly to Amy and to break down instructions/rules. She learns really well visually and can follow the lead of other children if they are patient with her. When other children get frustrated with her, just explain that Amy is learning how to play and needs their help.
Sometimes Amy has a very big air bubble and will react if children come into her space. She will also invade other children's space inappropriately. If she starts pushing she is communicating that she is unable to cope in a situation. If you see this going on please separate her from any children around her. The sooner she is distracted, the less likely the behaviour will snowball. A quiet corner she can go to works really well if she needs to chill out.
Amy likes to talk and can converse with children and adults if they are able to meet her at her level. Her conversational skills may not be on par with her peers so please be patient. Her words and sentences don't always make sense but it is important she feels heard and understood.
Amy needs a lot of guidance whether there are other children around or not. She needs direction with toileting, eating, and getting dressed. The strategies for these often change so I will keep you updated with where we're at. We have many social stories you are welcome to use that cover the areas Amy needs help in.
Sometimes it is clear Amy needs to burn off some energy. High-energy activities Amy loves include climbing, riding her bike, and running around with a small group of children. Often these hyper activities need to be followed by a quiet activity. Manic laughter is a big sign that she needs to slow down for a bit. Amy loves baking, painting, and drawing. These are all great things to do if she's feeling tired, anxious or overwhelmed. She also enjoys puzzles and reading books. She loves her sets of toys and has a My Little Pony collection, and dog and cat toys that she enjoys sharing with others.
If Amy has been pushing/kicking/hitting other children she is indicating she is on the verge of a meltdown. This means she is overloaded and desperately needs to go to a quiet corner to decompress. This is often a result of an accumulation of events unrelated to her current environment. Sitting with her quietly gives her the space to cry if she wants to. Often Amy will hold on to feelings and may even lash out to those who are in her care. If she starts hitting you just asking her if she is sad or angry about such-and-such can sometimes help her get in touch with her feelings. A DVD works really well in home settings as it seems to distract her from the anxious state she is in.
You can take a look at http://www.autismnz.org.nz/ for more information about ASD. I also update a weekly blog http://helpmemummy.blogspot.com/ about raising a child with ASD from a mother's perspective.
Thanks for your support and understanding.
Lynda
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Aren't we all just a little bit autistic?
Is it me or has autism been hitting the news quite a bit lately? We are either growing in our awareness of autism, there are more children/adults being diagnosed or perhaps it is a side-effect of life in the Western world.
You do have to wonder.
Modern life puts extreme pressure on us all from a very early age. Our education system is set up to have us "ready" for life as young adults when we finally get to leave. But in that time, from the preschool years all the way through to college, we are not-so-gently encouraged to be a certain way across the board so we'll "fit in".
Put your hands up if school was a positive experience for you. I bet there were some teachers/kids/classes you weren't so keen on. Personally I have a real mix of memories around my school years. College/high-school was pretty much a big thumbs down for me. But I have some fond memories of my primary school years. There were certainly some elements of conformity I struggled with all the way through.
Let's face it, no-one really likes being told what to do and how to be. Perhaps those on the autism spectrum feel it more strongly than the rest of us. I can think of several occasions when I've wanted to break free - from corporate culture, and societal expectations impinged on me.
I'm somewhere between being an introvert and an extrovert which means I sway between seeking company and craving solitude. Too much of either extreme sends me off-balance. I can totally identify with my daughter around being frustrated with sharing space with others I'd rather not be around.
I may not be autistic but I have my own communication issues to grapple with. Lets face it, relationships can be hard work, no matter how you are wired. I tend to walk on egg shells around people so I admire my daughter's directness (although telling your friend you want to hit them isn't the kind of thing one should say out loud).
Think of all those times someone has ruffled your feathers the wrong way or just irked you, just because. It makes sense to me why my daughter hits/kicks/pushes those she's had enough of.
I'm not saying I condone her behaviours - I just get them.
Children on The Spectrum simply reach boiling point faster than typical children. Just this afternoon my daughters playdate turned to custard rather rapidly as she was already feeling overloaded. The TV had been on for a while so I thought it would do us good to go out and get some fresh air.
Originally we were going to go to the local petting zoo but the girls were clashing so badly, we decided it was best we saved our money and opted for a simple bike-ride up the road. As typical of ASD children, my daughter tends to invade other children's space a lot. Some children let this slide but not this particular friend who inevitably responds by exploding into a tantrum. Their dynamic is Amy will tease by putting a hand or foot in her friends space and her friend will scream blue murder. Amy will inch her hand or foot closer and closer until her friend loses it. Amy deals with this outburst of emotion from her peer by either pushing/hitting/kicking. Once this point has been reached Amy will continue to strike out and all attempts at separating the girls are normally in vain. Many a playdate has ended abruptly with one of us having to go home.
So we know what these two are like together. But today my friend and I perserved through gritted teeth and got the girls to the local playground. A change of scene didn't help and things steadily got worse. Eventually Amy was at the stage where she was laughing manically (an indication she is on the verge of a meltdown). So home we went and the TV was switched on again shortly afterwards. Sometimes it's just easier to stay in!
You do have to wonder.
Modern life puts extreme pressure on us all from a very early age. Our education system is set up to have us "ready" for life as young adults when we finally get to leave. But in that time, from the preschool years all the way through to college, we are not-so-gently encouraged to be a certain way across the board so we'll "fit in".
Put your hands up if school was a positive experience for you. I bet there were some teachers/kids/classes you weren't so keen on. Personally I have a real mix of memories around my school years. College/high-school was pretty much a big thumbs down for me. But I have some fond memories of my primary school years. There were certainly some elements of conformity I struggled with all the way through.
Let's face it, no-one really likes being told what to do and how to be. Perhaps those on the autism spectrum feel it more strongly than the rest of us. I can think of several occasions when I've wanted to break free - from corporate culture, and societal expectations impinged on me.
I'm somewhere between being an introvert and an extrovert which means I sway between seeking company and craving solitude. Too much of either extreme sends me off-balance. I can totally identify with my daughter around being frustrated with sharing space with others I'd rather not be around.
I may not be autistic but I have my own communication issues to grapple with. Lets face it, relationships can be hard work, no matter how you are wired. I tend to walk on egg shells around people so I admire my daughter's directness (although telling your friend you want to hit them isn't the kind of thing one should say out loud).
Think of all those times someone has ruffled your feathers the wrong way or just irked you, just because. It makes sense to me why my daughter hits/kicks/pushes those she's had enough of.
I'm not saying I condone her behaviours - I just get them.
Children on The Spectrum simply reach boiling point faster than typical children. Just this afternoon my daughters playdate turned to custard rather rapidly as she was already feeling overloaded. The TV had been on for a while so I thought it would do us good to go out and get some fresh air.
Originally we were going to go to the local petting zoo but the girls were clashing so badly, we decided it was best we saved our money and opted for a simple bike-ride up the road. As typical of ASD children, my daughter tends to invade other children's space a lot. Some children let this slide but not this particular friend who inevitably responds by exploding into a tantrum. Their dynamic is Amy will tease by putting a hand or foot in her friends space and her friend will scream blue murder. Amy will inch her hand or foot closer and closer until her friend loses it. Amy deals with this outburst of emotion from her peer by either pushing/hitting/kicking. Once this point has been reached Amy will continue to strike out and all attempts at separating the girls are normally in vain. Many a playdate has ended abruptly with one of us having to go home.
So we know what these two are like together. But today my friend and I perserved through gritted teeth and got the girls to the local playground. A change of scene didn't help and things steadily got worse. Eventually Amy was at the stage where she was laughing manically (an indication she is on the verge of a meltdown). So home we went and the TV was switched on again shortly afterwards. Sometimes it's just easier to stay in!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
How much do I share
I'm sure many parents of special needs children grapple with how much information they should share with the outside world. I have been quite protective of Amy these last few years, just sharing her diagnosis - and for many months an impending diagnosis - with those closest to us and those it was relevant to.
But now, as Amy leaves afternoon Kindy and starts morning Kindy next term, I have had to swallow my pride and go down the road of educating not just the Kindy teachers and specialists who are involved with Amy, but also the parents of the other children at Kindy.
Why do I feel I need to do this? Because I think educating others is the only way we as parents can expect others to gain an understanding into ASD. These children of ours on The Spectrum are misunderstood frequently. Because most of these children physically look like typical children, they are expected to behave the same way.
It has been my experience that three years at Playgroup in which Amy was diagnosed (yet suspected to be on The Spectrum) resulted in many misunderstandings with other parents. A lot of the autistic traits resemble outright bad behaviour. I was critised both behind my back and openly for Amy's out-of-control-behaviour.
At afternoon Kindy at least I was able to forewarn the Kindy teachers that Amy was in the process of being diagnosed. So from the start she was treated as a child on The Spectrum. I shared this information with a few parents when I felt it was appropriate.
I now think all parents of the children at Morning Kindy have a right to know there is a child with ASD starting next term. So I have asked Amy's Kindy to include this blurb in their next newsletter:
INTRODUCING AMY
My daughter Amy is starting Morning Kindy this term. Last August she was diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder). Although she is high-functioning, she has difficulty socialising with other children. She is lots of fun and enjoys playing with small groups of children but gets over-stimulated very easily.
Perceived rejection or an inability to understand the rules of a game can trigger Amy. Sometimes Amy has a very big air bubble and will react if children come into her space. She will also invade other children's space inappropriately. If she starts pushing she is communicating that she is unable to cope in a situation. If you see this going on please alert a Kindy teacher. The sooner she is distracted, the less likely the behaviour will snowball. She has a quiet corner she can go to if she needs to chill out which she has been using when required at afternoon Kindy.
Amy likes to talk and can converse with children and adults if they are able to meet her at her level. She likes talking but her conversational skills may not be on par with your child.
Although she will have a teachers aide, she will need a lot of understanding and support to continue to thrive at Kindy.
You are very welcome to chat to me personally about ASD. However if any issues should arise, please talk to one of the Kindy staff.
But now, as Amy leaves afternoon Kindy and starts morning Kindy next term, I have had to swallow my pride and go down the road of educating not just the Kindy teachers and specialists who are involved with Amy, but also the parents of the other children at Kindy.
Why do I feel I need to do this? Because I think educating others is the only way we as parents can expect others to gain an understanding into ASD. These children of ours on The Spectrum are misunderstood frequently. Because most of these children physically look like typical children, they are expected to behave the same way.
It has been my experience that three years at Playgroup in which Amy was diagnosed (yet suspected to be on The Spectrum) resulted in many misunderstandings with other parents. A lot of the autistic traits resemble outright bad behaviour. I was critised both behind my back and openly for Amy's out-of-control-behaviour.
At afternoon Kindy at least I was able to forewarn the Kindy teachers that Amy was in the process of being diagnosed. So from the start she was treated as a child on The Spectrum. I shared this information with a few parents when I felt it was appropriate.
I now think all parents of the children at Morning Kindy have a right to know there is a child with ASD starting next term. So I have asked Amy's Kindy to include this blurb in their next newsletter:
INTRODUCING AMY
My daughter Amy is starting Morning Kindy this term. Last August she was diagnosed with ASD (autism spectrum disorder). Although she is high-functioning, she has difficulty socialising with other children. She is lots of fun and enjoys playing with small groups of children but gets over-stimulated very easily.
Perceived rejection or an inability to understand the rules of a game can trigger Amy. Sometimes Amy has a very big air bubble and will react if children come into her space. She will also invade other children's space inappropriately. If she starts pushing she is communicating that she is unable to cope in a situation. If you see this going on please alert a Kindy teacher. The sooner she is distracted, the less likely the behaviour will snowball. She has a quiet corner she can go to if she needs to chill out which she has been using when required at afternoon Kindy.
Amy likes to talk and can converse with children and adults if they are able to meet her at her level. She likes talking but her conversational skills may not be on par with your child.
Although she will have a teachers aide, she will need a lot of understanding and support to continue to thrive at Kindy.
You are very welcome to chat to me personally about ASD. However if any issues should arise, please talk to one of the Kindy staff.
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