Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A tough day on the ASD front

Yesterday was an almightly post-holiday backlash. Luckily Amy didn't go to Kindy as we had an appointment with the paedeatrician.

When Amy refuses to eat her breakfast and is (extra) resistant towards toileting; I know that she's in one of her non-compliant phases. So yesterday morning the red flags were there that the day was going to be filled with lots of ASD moments. It's almost as though Amy starts to spiral through her own refusal to stick to her routine.

Sure enough when we arrived at our 10am appointment with the paedeatrician Amy started to dig her heels in. She was okay being weighed and having her height measured but she did not want to go into the small room that is the paedeatrician's office. (It was our third visit in less than a year). Amy made this clear by not budging once her weight and height had been recorded - she simply didn't want to leave the room. The only way to get her out was by me lifting her and at 21.45kg, I tell you it is a physical struggle (being just under 60kg myself).

I picked her up and carried her to see the Dr at which point she started physically attacking me - hitting/pulling my hair/attempting to bite me. After a few minutes of it the Dr and I thought perhaps she could just play outside in the waiting room but she was too worked up. She ended up being most comfortable going back to the room she didn't want to budge from at the beginning. As I talked to the Dr I could hear her grunting and groaning to herself in frustration. By the time I came out of the appointment, she had calmed down enough to play for a bit in the waiting room.

In a way it was a good thing her behaviour flared up right in front of the paedeatrician as now we have a referral to see a psychologist (!) within the next six months. My husband and I are accepting any offer of help that comes along. I think consulting with a psychologist would be great - as the Head Teacher at Kindy commented today : "You don't want her doing that (attacking us) when she's ten!". Well, no. Being attacked by your four year old is one thing and I am already a bit concerned that she could harm my husband or myself during one of her meltdowns. When we were away last week my husband ended up with a few scratches on his face - she actually drew blood. I am not surprised in the least to hear about the occasional report in the news in which an autistic child has tried to hurt or even kill a parent as autistic children typically lash out at their nearest and dearest.

After the appointment with the paedeatrician I took Amy to The Warehouse to get some new shoes. I wouldn't normally be so brave after a meltdown but her shoes had fallen completely apart - she kind of needed them. Yet the non-complaint behaviour continued and I got sympathetic looks as Amy tossed several pairs of shoes angrily down the aisle because they weren't red. (She'd got it in her head that red shoes were what she wanted - last week it was gumboots with My Little Ponies on them). Because she refused to choose a pair of shoes from the two pairs on offer; I ended up choosing them myself. She's been wearing them ever since.

Yesterday was certainly a nightmare on the ASD front. Behind closed doors (at home) Amy never actually snapped out of it. There were no tears - instead there was lots of aggressive behaviour towards me. I realised yesterday that Amy and I hadn't had any proper "me time" for around ten days. So I went off to the gym last night for a much-needed Mummy time-out.

After the gym I went to the local primary school for a prospective pupil meeting. Although Amy doesn't start until next year, I really wanted to check out the school and to meet the teachers. I now feel happy and confident that Amy is going to be well-supported at primary school. I spoke with the deputy principal (DP) and the new entrants teacher and both are familar with ASD and Aspergers. The DP currently had three children with ASD/Aspergers in one of her classes. I also think Amy will love learning. Kindy is almost a bit boring for her - just hanging out with a bunch of four year olds five mornings a week!

This morning I went to the Nelson ASD support meeting at a local cafe. I really enjoyed talking with other Mums about ASD/Aspergers. There were around eight of us today. This was my fourth meeting so I'm slowly getting to know everyone. Every meeting has varied in size (from two - twentyish). People come and go. But there is no doubt that connecting with Mums in the same boat is one of the best forms of support you could ask for. I am so grateful that there is a support group here in Nelson - it is invaluable.

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